I have started reading a new book.
Just like the last paragraph, I have complete thoughts, so far, about the book, but I set out to achieve so much more. I am not above gimmicks. And I suffer from disorder. And scattered thoughts.
Sometimes I feel like a moth, circling a light, believing it’s the moon, just fulfilling instinctual movements. These evolved senses guided us forever, and now there are cinnamon buns in airports that will give us diabetes, and make us obese, somehow in that order, or backwards, but the damned smell of cinnamon is known to make peoplefolks get hungry, and spendy. You get it, right? We are fallible, now (not just now), because our evolution didn’t prepare us for this world. These flashing lights! And abundant sources of pornography! And vodka in energy drinks! We’re fucked!
And this is a problem. I started a new book, but I didn’t finish the last one, and not because it wasn’t compelling, or interesting, but because I wanted to know the stuff in the new book, and it came along more recently. And all of a sudden new shit was pooping in my head.
It’s not the first time, it won’t be the last. The issue is: what happens if I never finish these books? I will never be like Tai Lopez.
Routines can save us. I have had them in the past, and some work wonders. Lifting weights, great routine. But they also suck time. And they have to be worth it. Lifting weights is worth it. I’m not sure finishing all the books is worth it.
But how to identify…?
Lifting weights is easy to rationalise. Before/after photos. Past personal experiments. But watching statistics lectures online…that one is hard to know. What if I don’t need to know statistics? And really, theory classes don’t really give you a working knowledge, that comes with skin in the game.
Could it hurt, spending time finishing books? Absolutely. Opportunity cost, bro. Everything you do comes at the cost of not doing the next best thing, but…that is already language that just racks on the guilt. What if you take opportunity cost to be the most fundamental concern at all times? You can’t know the best, most optimal use of your time, all of the time…At best you can get away with some sex-panther logic, and in that case, just try to have as few doubts in yourself as possible. And if you really vanquish your doubts, maybe you can become a self-help guru.
I live with doubts. I have low confidence, and it used to result in crippling anxiety. Now, I have confidence in select things.
- People with a lot of confidence are fools
- I am not a fool, but…Dunning-Kruger
- Fuck it, people forget things easily
Anyway, there is a logic that ties this all together…Oh yeah, I don’t finish things. And it is attention span. I now realise I don’t have one. It lasts about a month. Then something comes along and I lose it. So a new, whole new, world philosophy is what I get into…Is there something special about the month? “Flavour of the month” is a saying. Maybe it is more profound than what meets the eye…ear?…eye? We’re fucked.
However, sometimes I look back, and the one-month sprees add up to knowing some things. Like…about half finished books worth of knowledge…Ok you can get a Lambo for ~ a quarter million.
Which means…if I read half books, I can get half of what Tai Lopez gets with full books. So…maybe I’ll make some YouTube videos in my late-thirties with some Lexus cars or Caddilacs or something, and I wont be in the Hollywood hills, but maybe a nice neighbourhood of a second rate city. I can’t wait.